Sat tells a student how to break out of her depression and sadness with courage and wisdom.
This talk was communicated very slowly and with a lot of pauses in between sentences so we recommend the reader does the same thing.
Parnia: (Crying) I have no peace.
Sat: What else?
Parnia: I make a mess of my life and all of my interactions, and every day it gets worse. Why can’t I have peace? I change my altar, I change my room, nothing happens. I can’t meditate, I can’t Stop my thoughts, I see no results. Nobody even wants to be around me anymore. I see it. I don’t know what to do. I cried all night, without any cause. And just watched the hours go by. I can’t do anything about it. I don’t even know what makes me happy. Nothing makes me happy. Not work, not exercise. I just want to lay in bed.
Sat: You have been on this path for six or seven months. What do you do when you sit in front of your altar?
Parnia: Nothing. I try to Stop but the only thing I can’t do is Stop.
Sat: So when you can’t Stop, what do you do then?
Parnia: Nothing. Just thoughts. One comes and another comes right behind it.
Sat: Do you fear your thoughts?
Parnia: A lot.
Sat: Are they depressing? Frightening?
Parnia: Yes.
Sat: And you converse with them and you suffer?
Parnia: So much.
Sat: And you think that this path has made you worse?
Parnia: No. I just don’t know why it has not helped me.
Sat: Because you weren’t able to do it. Your case isn’t hopeless; it will be fixed. Know this. Many of the people in this room were much worse off than you. You have no responsibility for yourself; you are not responsible for your thoughts; you are not responsible for your problems. If you want to listen to what I am saying, just listen. I don’t even want you to put it into practice; just listen. You are not the problems that you think are hopeless, and I think are a gift, that are totally solvable. It is something that you looked at for so long, that you feel you are going blind. You are not blind. Your tears are not sad for Me, they are sad for you, but for Me it is good news, that yet another person says, “I want to get out of this.”
For one moment, sit calmly, relax your arms and legs, don’t go into a fetal position because of your fear, be brave, be brave, your courage will save you. Have courage in the face of fear. Have courage in the face of sadness and depression. Be happy in the face of sadness and depression. Don’t go into a fetal position, like you just were. Relax your arms and legs. Tell yourself, “I am not what I think I am” and believe what I am saying, because you are not. You are not. Now you and I will meditate with eyes open. I want you to listen to Me, and believe Me and trust Me. You have no other choice; let me put it that way.
As you are sitting, take some slow, deep breaths... Just listen to the sound of My voice... Breath in, slowly and deeply, and deeply and slowly breath out... Let go... Let go... Show courage to let go... The thoughts are lies... Let them be... Now, put your attention on this feeling of letting go, and silence; silence within and outside... Just sit, have courage, don’t go fetal, sit, sit open, nothing will happen, the only bad thing is to think you must be closed off... Sit open, sit freely... Nothing can shake you, unless your imagination believes it... Don’t... Stay... Don’t be afraid... Stay... Stay... Don’t be fooled... Stay... Don’t be fooled... Stay... Feel the silence... You are the silence... If you don’t feel it, I don’t know what you are doing... You are the silence... Existence is silence... Reality is silence... Stay... Stay... Feel love for yourself, and this silence... Love it... Love it... Don’t be afraid... Stay... Love your silence... With courage... This is you... You are courage... I am telling you the truth... I am introducing you to your Self... I am telling you that you are not what you think you are... You are silence... You are peace... Find it within...
How? Just sit, with courage... That’s it... Love your Self, your Existence... Don’t hide... The Omnipresent can’t hide itself... The only difference between you and others, before this meditation, is that you were being fooled more than the rest, but know that everyone was once fooled, and now won’t be fooled anymore... Your problem is that you were fooled, not that the lies that fooled you had any reality... You don’t have a problem; don’t’ believe that you do... It’s a lie... Keep saying, “No, No, No, No...” Love your Self, That is who you are... This (heart), not this (mind)...
Look at yourself now, in the mirror... That smile, that joy is you... What is the difference between now and five minutes ago? You were introduced to your Self... Don’t be afraid; stay...
Sit open... Nobody can bother you... Be in love; all of this will disappear... Break all the habits... When you go home, sit in front of My picture with a smile... Why not? When you have freedom to choose, why not choose that which brings you joy? ...
The only practice I want to give you today is to have courage instead of fear, choose happiness instead of sadness, choose to smile instead of worrying, unless your tears are from joy, dance instead of not dancing, be happy instead of sad... This choice is your practice... And don’t be fooled instead of being fooled, and say “no” to your thoughts instead of saying “yes” to them, and be silent with respect to them instead of conversing with them, and love silence instead of fleeing from it.
-From Sat’s monthly phone conference with young adults (“FDE”). FDE Phone Conference #65, September 03, 2017