Feeling Of Being Treated Unfairly
In this audio excerpt, Sat gives advice on how to handle feelings of being treated unfairly.
Kumud: The last few days I have been feeling bitter for being treated unfairly. I took it “in” and asked myself, “Who is upset?” And if I can change the situation, I need to change the way I think about it. I didn’t want to complain about it because I didn’t think it was going to fix the situation. The answer I received was that I had to change my negative mindset. I tried to Stop and Stay but I felt that I kept falling in the hole of desire and expectation. Can You guide me to remove this feeling and move beyond it and not allow it to control me? How do I differentiate between knowing when to speak up or staying quiet when I feel as though I have been treated unfairly?
Sat: First of all, as far as your spiritual practices go, you will come to a junction that is much harder for you to Stop and stay calm. This is the process of it. I am not going to say that once you are practicing, bigger things don’t come to challenge you, as far as your immediate life goes to see it and to drop it! Now, everything that happens while you are after your own eternal peace happens to push you farther and give you more clarity. You can be sure of that- even your failing where you think you are not succeeding- that’s a part of it.
Second, you said something about the negative nagging, this is a very, very important part of the mind to stay alive! Even though it is so negative, it stirs the feeling and emotion, it is like somebody standing by your ears all day long and telling you about your failures or somebody else’s failures. So, just the fact that you said, “maybe my approach…” it’s not your approach, it’s the repetition of one thought. Once you recognize it, when it comes, just say, “No, this is not who I am.” Or when it comes, very quietly say, “I have no use for you.” Just look at it and transcend it into silence; in other words, sink, settle down into the silence- that is for the internal dialogue.
As far as [it goes] with the people, if you think your heart feels like they need to know and it is not something that they knew repeatedly and they could not change, but it is something new that you have a hope that if you bring it to their attention they might stop, by all means, go forward and let them have it. But if it is something that you have said over and over and over and the person continues hurting [you] in different ways, then I would say there is no use to it, just work on yourself. Recognize that the negative thoughts have no room in you anymore and just settle down into the silence.
Also, another thing that really, really helps is in those moments ask yourself, “What do I really want?” Whatever we do to each other is temporary and it vanishes by the elimination of our body in the end. So, these are little things, little pep talks that you can have through the wisdom that wake you up in those types of situations. At times it is not easy, but hang in there. Even if you don’t do anything about it, it will pass, so you might as well sink to the silence sooner than later.