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Class-Self Confidence

Sat discusses true Self-confidence and how that helps us have an unshakeable foundation, upon which everything else is built- self-satisfaction, self-sacrifice and self-realization. This helps not only with not judging or condemning ourselves but having Trust in the Omnipresent, Omniscient & Omnipotent.

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Sathyam: Since we are such a small and informal group tonight, what would you like to talk about? (Nobody has any questions.)
All right then, we will talk about self-confidence. Baba says self-confidence is the foundation of the house. Because self-confidence brings self-satisfaction, self-satisfaction brings self-sacrifice, and self-sacrifice brings Self-realization. But self-confidence is the foundation. What is self-confidence? What do I mean when I say “self-confidence”?
A woman says: Being comfortable with who you are.
Sathyam: That is a trap! I don’t understand what you mean when you say, “Being comfortable with who you are.” You may be a total jerk; would you want to be comfortable with that?
She replies: No.
Another woman says: Knowing who you are.
The woman who had talked about comfort in terms of self-confidence says: As long as you know that, you are comfortable with it.
Sathyam: So in your opinion, self-confidence is comfort? We are going to dissect it thoroughly tonight because it is very important.
-A few people say they are not really clear on the true meaning of self-confidence.
Sathyam: As long as you think you are the body, having or not having self-confidence is useless. Because one day you will be really courageous and with it and then the next day if something happens, you will cringe and run away like a mouse. So, you go back and forth between being a lion and being a mouse.
The confidence we are talking about has to do with the Self which is unmoving and unchanging. We have been talking about that Self which is unmoving or unchanging for many years. Now we have to develop confidence in Its existence. The more confidence you have in that Truth that you are beginning to accept, the more apparent it will become.
Baba says that in your day to day life, you wake up in the morning and you are confident that you are going to get out of bed and go to work. You don’t get up and say, “I don’t know what is going to happen next.” Or when you are a child and they tell you, “This person is your mother,” you accept it and you have full confidence in the fact that she is your mother.
When we realize because God is Omnipresent, we cannot be anything but that, we have got to have confidence in this realization- an unshakeable confidence. Why? Because you are having confidence in something that does not change. The more confidence you have [in the Self], the more you see it in your life. Some people think that the way forward is to show a lot of humility; others think that if they show strength and are bold, that is the way. But it is neither, it is a quiet confidence in who we are; humility and pride are two brothers that are not even worth having!
We will talk about who we are tonight.
Who do you think you are? (Sathyam asks one of the women in the class.)
She replies: Divine, but I don’t always have confidence in that.
Sathyam: If you think you are divine why don’t you have confidence in it? Then why not say “I guess I am divine.”
She replies: I guess I am divine; I just take Your word for it.
Sathyam: And when you take My word for it, do you fully accept it or do you just take it at face value?
She replies: When I am here, yes, I can really take Your word for it. But when I leave here, the outside world interferes, and then it becomes harder for me to believe it.
Sathyam: Listen to this, because we are going back to the basics again, and it will clear up some things for you, so that way you don’t go to the outside world and lose it.
If God is Omnipresent then everything that exists is in that Omnipresence. Therefore if you are That, then where is the “outside” and where is the “inside?” You say “When I leave here, I lose my confidence.” Where is that “out?” If there is nothing but God, then where do you go to find the outside?
The same woman says: There is no outside.
Sathyam laughs and says: Well, thank you!
Since we are an intimate group tonight, I want to say that it is not enough to take something at face value, but rather we have to dissect it and find out what it means to us, so we can stand on that ground. Self-confidence is conviction that there is nothing but that Truth and Perfection. When you stand on the ground of Perfection with confidence, its outcome is Perfection. It cannot be anything else, so the struggle stops, the striving stops, the anxious thoughts stop!
A little earlier, I gave you the example of misplacing My phone. I never thought it was lost; I just did not know why I could not see it. So, finally tonight, I said with confidence “Where is it?” I almost demanded to see it. Thirty seconds later, it was there. Now did this happen because I am special? No. It is because of the utter confidence that I have. We have to have utter confidence when we say “God is Omnipresent, Omniscient and Omnipotent.” If we don’t, as soon as we leave here, we are a branch cut off from the tree yet again. Of course, it is not that we are actually cut off from the tree; it is just that we feel as though we are.
In My book Most Precious, it says “Stand your ground like a lion, but serve society like a servant.” In your Self, you are like a lion, because you know the Truth and you are confident in that and from there, the love begins to pour out. For Me, for example, whether I know you or not doesn’t matter, the love just pours out; this is what Self-confidence is.
Now, how do we practice it when we leave this room? We have to remember that “first Promise" and renew our vow. We did not come into this jungle we call the world without any reassurance; that would be absurd. We came into this world with this Promise: if you have Trust and confidence, “I” which is in every one of us, “I” will take care of everything.
I have seen self-realized people, I have read about them and I have been close to them, and believe Me when I tell you that they do not take thought. Why? Because they spontaneously know who they are and that does the trick! So, each time something is bothering you, or there is a struggle taking place, go back to this confidence and relax in it.
The Bible says “Be still and know that I am.” That says it all. “Be still and know that I am” - the knowing is the confidence that we are talking about here. Some people say that they feel very confident, but then anything can shake that confidence. Regardless of how great someone may be on the worldly level, there will be things or situations that will elicit fear in them. The true confidence in the right “Self” is unshakeable and has to be developed. It is not something that just falls in our lap; we have to practice it, in order to be the recipient of it.
Surprisingly, this type of confidence will erase our judgments of ourselves. As women, we judge ourselves a lot, we say to ourselves, “Oh I should have done this” or “I should not have done that.” Then condemnation sets in, and as soon as we condemn ourselves, we have separated ourselves from our Self. We are no longer getting nourishment from the real Self, because we are living in the contradiction of the mind; we keep saying “I should have, I shouldn’t have, I would have, I wouldn’t have.”
This is why sometimes our prayers are not answered; we feel too far away from that Truth and in order to be heard, there has to be closeness. The more we feel that Oneness with God, with who we are or with that “I”, the less we even need to pray. When we are close to the fire, we do not have to beg for heat; it keeps us warm, because it is the nature of fire to keep us warm.
When we get close to the light of who we are or to God, then it is Its nature to take care of us. The nature of that “I” is to see that we have abundance, because that is what It has. We can’t just sit back from the fire and say that we are cold. Most people do that and wonder why they don’t get their prayers answered.
On that note, I am going to recount a beautiful parable that Baba told us one year, when we were in India during the Christmas holiday.
The story goes like this: Five thousand years ago, during the time of Krishna, who was a Hindu Avatar just like Baba, men greatly outnumbered women; exactly opposite of how it is now. For example, a mother and father would give their daughter’s hand in marriage to several brothers. There was a woman named Draupadi who was married to five brothers. Draupadi was very pious and loved Krishna with all of her heart; so much so that he was all she could think about. Unfortunately, the five brothers she married were serious gamblers who gradually lost everything until all they had left was their wife, and one day they bet on her as well.
They were very sorry about what they had done and they knew they must tell her [the truth]. They said to her, “We love you very much and we are so sorry for what we have done. You are the most maternal and loving person we could have as our wife; you are so pious. But sadly, we lost another bet and lost you in the process.”
She was very saddened by this, because she knew that her husbands had lost her to a very evil-minded man. Right away she went to her prayer room and pleaded, “Krishna, who is in Brindavan, help me!” Now Brindavan was very far from her hometown. A lot of time passed and Krishna had not yet come to help her. Ordinarily Krishna would do anything for her, because she had such a deep love for him in her heart; however, he still had not shown up.
She then started to bang her head against the wall and cried, “Krishna, can you please have some pity on me and come to my rescue? Please!” In the midst of asking Krishna to come to her rescue, she says, “At least Krishna in my heart, please answer me.” Immediately, Krishna appeared and said, “I was in your heart, but because you asked me to come from Brindavan, first I had to go to Brindavan and then come here.”
This story makes Me cry, because that is precisely our affair with the Truth. The Truth is right here (pointing to Her heart) and yet we are asking it to come help us from heaven or from some far off place.
The reason that sometimes prayers do not get answered for years and years is that the recipient has not taken enough steps to say, “I am Yours, I have confidence and I know who I am, I know what is inside of me.” (Sathyam wipes away Her tears and continues) when I go into devotion, dear God watch out, because I could be sobbing for hours.
A woman asks: How does self-sacrifice come into the picture?
Sathyam: I am glad you asked that question, because when I mentioned self-sacrifice, I could see that it was a red flag for some of you. Self-confidence, which is confidence in who we really are, gives self-satisfaction or Ananda, which is peace.
Self-sacrifice comes when you stay in the world, but you are not of it; you stay for the sake of serving others. You sacrifice that false self, it is gone and then the true Self that you are having confidence in becomes a servant to humanity. Self-sacrifice actually has a double meaning here, because by that time you don’t have a false self to sacrifice, it is gone and the real Self just gives and gives. At that time however, it is a sacrifice to come out of silence and talk, and you ask yourself “What am I doing here?” But you keep giving because it gives you joy to give.
This doesn't necessarily mean that you serve like Mother Teresa, who is very well known; someone could also be a servant in silence. They can do so much good; just their Being, their Existence uplifts; when you are around them you feel uplifted by that silence, by that divine energy and you know you are in the right place.
After that comes Self-realization, because there is no identification with the body to keep you from realizing who you really are. Therefore, the base or the foundation, which is very important and necessary, is Self-confidence.
Some years ago, when we were building our home here in Reno, after they laid the foundation, I wrote the name of God on it before the concrete dried. I wanted the writing to remain on the concrete, as the foundation for our new home.
I bring up this example because it is symbolic of the fact that I want My foundation to be in the Truth. When the foundation is in the Truth, no earthquake can shake it, no fire can burn it, no bomb can destroy it and that is exactly what came to Me in My meditation tonight.
Once we realize that confidence in the Truth or the Self, regardless of what happens in the appearance, we don’t lose it. That in and of itself is such good news; we can work on that, we can be quiet in that, and we can “be still and know that I am.”
When you get still enough, what is left is just the “I”, not even “am,” it is just the “I,” it is just that silence. So, when we go to work and we are confronted with a situation that we are not quite equipped to deal with, we need to practice this: “I don’t know anything and I am nobody, but I sure do have tremendous confidence in who I really am.”
If this terminology does not fit you, replace it with whatever feels right, such as “I know I am God,” or “I know God is in me,” or “I know I am a part of the Truth.” Use whatever sits in your heart. This way we are eliminating the “me” or the “I”, the name and form which is changing [and impermanent], and we are replacing it with confidence in the right source, that right Source within ourselves.
It is very good to practice this; I still practice it and I have not graduated by any means, but for Me, practicing is just for the sake of the mind. I have no doubt about who I really am. Now and then if it is necessary, for the sake of the mind, I practice Self-confidence and the Trust Meditation. The Trust Meditation is a very helpful tool for us to use. Now if you have any questions about it please ask Me.
A woman asks: So we were given this Promise, yet we have to practice to realize what it is!
Sathyam: Yes, the Promise was given to you in your bosom, and the memory of it is there. However as Baba says, “What good is it to have electricity to turn on your light, if you have not plugged your lamp into an outlet?” The Promise is in our bosom and the reason we did not discover it sooner is because all of our senses cater to what one of you referred to as “outside” a little earlier in our class tonight.
When we reverse our attention, we no longer solve our problems by means of physical or mental strength, but by that Promise, which we can call the Spirit. That Promise is dormant and hidden here (pointing to Her heart). Once you are shown that there is such a Promise and you take it to heart and rely on it, you will taste the fruit of it. You have to practice for yourself because the fruit of My practice is not going to give you the same sweetness, but if what I am saying makes sense, try it for yourself, practice and say to yourself “I am going to rely on that for some time, until I am proven right.”
Many years ago when I was struggling with self-doubt, I read a beautiful sentence in a Sufi book by Inayat Khan. I had all these unbelievable experiences and still this doubt would set in and ruin it. I came across his book and it said that you trust your Guru … you trust and you trust, until you are proven right, not wrong, but right! Who is the biggest Guru or the most eternal Guru? It is that “I” that you are (pointing to Her heart again).
However, most of the time, in order for us to know that, there is a Guru within us, or that “I” that we need to have confidence in, a Teacher has to appear from outside and say, “You prayed for a Teacher, and here I am; now go!” And that is precisely what happened in My case.
I cried, screamed, prayed and asked to come face to face with God (referring to meeting Baba who is Her Guru). Then what did I find? Myself! This is because you cannot find God anywhere else, because it is within our own self and that is why the practice is so important. You gain more and more confidence by practicing, being in touch and in tune with your inner Self and you benefit from it.
Like Baba says “What good is it if you take someone who is ill to the doctor and they are given the right medicine, but instead of taking it, they leave it on their nightstand and go to sleep?”
Although I must say that it is still good to know that it is there and you can use it whenever you need it and that is the beauty of it! Most people who come here on Tuesday nights will not practice what is being taught here for a while and that truly doesn’t matter, because the seed has been planted.
One day in the most unlikely place and at the most unlikely time, when they need it, they will remember what we do here and at that time, they are ready to cultivate it, nourish it and bring it to the surface.
Ramana Maharshi’s teachings entailed sitting still and inquiring into who we are; this type of inquiry can take us to the source of the mind. Ramana was once asked “How long should we practice?” His response was, “Until there is no trace of weakness left in the mind, until nothing can reverse it; it is beyond being reversed.
So, we could be practicing for the rest of our lives and longer, until the residue of our wrong beliefs completely fade away by this Truth. It is like discovering the light of Truth inside and shining it on something we thought was real, only to discover that it was actually just a drawing. That is exactly what happens to our mind. We think every thought has significance, it is going to hurt or benefit us; then we bring in the light and we see the nothingness of it. We see that we don’t have to be moved by it.
A person cannot be satisfied with just knowing the Truth, they have to take it to the next step and ask themselves, “What is it doing in my life? What is it actually doing for me?”
Do any of you have any other questions?
A woman asks: You said when you don’t have that confidence in the Truth, you can get disconnected from It.
Sathyam: Yes, when you don’t have confidence in the Truth of who you are, that means there is a separation; there is a “you” and there is the Truth that you don’t have confidence in.
The more you feel separated, the more active your mind is, because you are identifying with your mind and that is why the Truth feels so far away. The more you concentrate on the Truth, the calmer your mind is, because the concentration cannot be on both the mind and Truth simultaneously.
The more you focus on who you really are and develop confidence in That, the less you bother with what is changing, which is the exact reverse of how most people live. And that is the Art of Living in Truth, you just concentrate on That, until you begin to see nothing but the Truth regardless of where you look.
Sathyam remains silent for a few moments and then continues: Do you have any questions? Is it time to say good night? I am so glad you guys are here tonight.
A man asks: Tonight I was using the phrase “I know nothing and I am nobody,” to help me meditate. I am wondering if there is a catch phrase like that to help us do the Trust Meditation.
Sathyam: Yes, there is; what can help is remembering that first Promise, the mother of all promises, the Promise which, unlike the others, is never broken. The Promise that says, “I will take care of everything for you, if you just sit, be still and trust.”
So if you have thoughts in your meditation, go back to that trust and let go. Do this practice until you are proven right, you will see the peace that it creates. It does create peace, because it stands on the four pillars of Truth, and it cannot be proven wrong, unless your own dedication to it waivers.
It needs practice, like anything else you want to master. For example, if you want to learn how to play the piano, you take piano lessons, and unless you are a musical genius, you need to practice. If you don’t practice, your money will be completely wasted. Everything requires dedication, interest and practice. We practice until we no longer need to practice and believe Me, you will know when that day comes!

Class-Self Confidence
June 21, 2005

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