The Mother Is The Child's First God

Q18. “Speak to us of raising children.”

A. You raise children by raising your own consciousness. The rest is easy. Once you know the Truth, the Truth will be known; don't worry about your offspring. They will grow up according to their own path as manifest Self. And as unmanifest, they always are pure and untarnished. Your work is to love and encourage them, and most of all, to see their reality as you see or attempt to see your own. Children are not children. Only their bodies and minds are small. They are not your children, nor is there a reason for belonging. Yet while they are in the body you have a chance to play the game, to love them as yourself. This is all the responsibility you need to feel toward them. As we are One, we are also free.

Now we become more aware of what “Most Precious” said about [the best way of] raising the children is by raising your own consciousness. When a mother’s understanding deepens in Truth, not in the world, but the real way of living, it really translates to the children and the surroundings. So our first duty, if we can call it duty, or our first desire, should be not so much to better the life of our family, but to raise ourselves above duality (above good and bad) so we can develop a deep understanding for things. When that happens, the biggest blessing is that you do not feel like you are a mother and you have responsibility. You become your child, and you look through your child’s eyes, and then as a mother you can help where the child is standing in a very right way.
But most mothers go by do’s and don’ts that were given to them and they don’t understand that each personality and each nature of a child is different. And some kids, when you give them righteous advice, they become rebellious, they become alienated and they just get fed up. And some kids obey and become subservient to peoples’ ideas. But when we have a deeper understanding as a mother, what happens is our words penetrate because it’s not out of ego or good and bad - it is out of divine suggestion.
Parenting Call
09/19/2020

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It is so amazing that the way of living by Truth, real truth, not what the world presented us to be the true and false, then, when we are established in that understanding, that deep understanding, we look around [and] we see what we believed before as a righteous way of living, or just living, it doesn’t make sense anymore. Because the more we have understanding for our child, the better we can guide that child. Otherwise, it’s just passing on different ideas we accepted as a mother, whether it’s good for our kids or not. I mean, there are some bad things that turn out to be good and some good things turn out to be bad.
What do we know in the level of mind? We really don’t know. If we sit down for a moment and truthfully ask ourselves, do we know? Then the answer is no. But there is a knowingness beyond our thoughts that is always present, and by tapping into it without any ideas or judgment - guides us - it just guides us. We say the right thing at the right moment to our child that is immensely profitable and life-changing.
So I think these meetings - I’m hoping that it - takes all of you from the surface thinking to a more profound understanding so that we can get our nourishment and give it to our kids.
You know, the first trip I took to India - My younger son was a year old and the older one was three and a half. A very strong force came over Me and I left them with my mom. It was an unknown country, unknown motive - everything was unknown to Me and it was frightening when I got to Bombay. I was afraid. I said, “Oh My God I left My children behind, what if something happens to Me? I will never see them again.” And I was just panicking for My decision. And I remember closing My eyes in the back of the taxi and very loudly, but inwardly saying, “What is God? Who is God? Why am I here?” And I saw My mother coming toward Me. And I realized that the first God in one’s life is the mother and then becomes Guru, right? And then after the Guru, becomes the invisible reality of oneself, so these are three folds. And at that time I didn’t have a good relationship with My mom. I mean, I loved her and she was the best mother, but somehow the way she showed her love to Me was more in action, but I wanted it with words and hugs and expression of physical. So there was some misunderstanding there.
And it was amazing, right after that vision, everything between My mother and I fell away. So the reason I tell you this story is because as mothers that we are, we are the first God to our children. So imagine as that role that we play in our children’s lives, imagine how amazing and important it is that we actually know what God is so we can translate it and teach them about it. And this is the Art of Living - this is what you guys are doing on the phone.
When I said that mother is the first God, really, it’s not the mother’s behavior - it really is for the child. I was talking about the child. Because the child fell on the mother’s lap and has no idea about the world, except the mother - whether it’s a good mother or not. Yes, there’s a love for the father for the first three years, but nothing can replace the mother. To the child, this is it - this is his or her whole life. So it’s more emphasized on how the child is seeing the mother than what the mother should do.

Now, by this knowledge that we get to know our child better. Meaning that we no longer look at ourselves as a mother and child - we have an understanding that this child, at least for the first 5 years, mostly the first 3 years, doesn’t know of the world. Doesn’t know if the mother is good or bad - and it doesn’t even care. It is all it knows. So once we realize that, this is what is meant by the sentence that God is in the form of the mother first. Here, God means the totality of the child’s understanding, because God is all, and mother is all for the child at that time.

Now what’s the difference to know this knowledge this way? [It] is that the mother doesn’t have to play the role of God. This understanding of how important her role is makes her dig in herself and try to raise her own consciousness because she knows now that it’s not the body of the child that is dependent on food of her giving, but it’s the totality of her child that is in need of her nourishment. So this is the point, that to different degrees we are all coming to understand, by having meetings like these, by having satsang, and all of that.

So you don’t have to be anybody else. You don’t have to be God in your personality. It’s enough for you to know that this is how your child reviews you. And everything else after that understanding will fall into its own place. But if we don’t see that side and we say, “I have to be like God for my child,” good luck. Because it’s not from a deep understanding - it’s from the surface wanting to adjust to a better character and this and that.

Another thing I would like to add is that this is only for the first few years of a child. And as the child develops - the mental and physical and emotional develops - then the reliance on the mother has to get less. It’s normal. And in a very lucky lifestyle - in the lifestyle that we’re granted a perfect life - the child grows up and the first few years has been nourished by the physical God of the mother - in every part of his being. And then again in the perfect life, either the child comes across the Guru - or through the mother. And the mother’s job as far as nourishing the way it was before - it’s done. We have to understand that - it’s done.

Now the Guru takes over and the teaching of the Guru and dedication to those teachings. And the original family of the childhood takes the backseat. And then the Guru, if it’s a genuine Guru, works on the inner development of the child until the child is grown up that way and then goes in the hand of the Self. The Guru is no longer in the front seat - the physical Guru. And at that time the child had the nourishment needed in the childhood, the spiritual nourishment that was needed through adulthood, and then it finishes the life by having complete independence and dependency on the Self. And yet lives and gives love to the Guru and the parents and all of that. So this is the best scenario. And I think those of us that have found Guru, it makes us very rare souls.


Parenting Call
10/31/2020