In this audio excerpt from a conference call on parenting, Sat advises parents on how to deal with rebellious children.
Question: On our last call, You said, “A child that is rebellious to Me is actually a good sign. Although we want our child to behave, to listen and to obey, I would say that if they do that at all times, you need to back off. For Me, a lot of rebellious children become one of the greatest leaders later in life, if it is controlled. Meaning it is not vicious, it is just rebellion, it is not harmful.”
How do we determine which behavioral issues are harmful and vicious and need to be corrected? Since each child is different, can we have a tool to determine which behaviors are harmful and need to be corrected vs. those that are not?
Sat: Well, there is not a set list that I can give at all, because parents know their kids the most. But I am just saying that my experience has been, including Myself, I did not listen and obey everything My parents said, and they were very annoyed by it. But this came from wanting freedom, not the freedom to do whatever I wanted to do, but there was a sense of tightness that I felt they were putting on Me.
Even with the government, in fact our parents allowed us to leave the country at a young age because they knew there were too many do’s and don’ts and we were not that type of children to obey them and we could cause a problem.
There are stories, stories of enlightened souls also. I remember reading a story about Vivekananda, in the beginning of My journey, where he was so rebellious and not listening so much that his family used to pour ice cold water on his head to bring him back and listen. But I am not saying this is the rule, there are a lot of kids that are very well behaved and they get wherever they want to in life and whatever their destiny is.
But My experience, which I see around Me in My own family, has been that a lot of parents constantly want to have that authority over their children. And what happens is the child listens but they lose confidence, they lose that freedom that a child should have as a child.
In place of that there is hesitation. They become fearful of things, particularly if the parents say, “If you do that, this is going to happen to you …” at all times by their own memory [the parents’]. Maybe this time it will not happen, maybe if the kids go up the tree and you are standing there and you know which branch is good, maybe it won’t [break]. There are parents that as soon as a child wants to go up a tree, they stop him immediately.
But I wouldn’t be able to say you do this at this time, you do that, etc. No. I am sure every one of you as parents know your child more than I do. Just ease off, if they are doing something that is not too dangerous, don’t go by memory. If they are not hurting someone by their words or actions, just back off. If they have an opinion that is totally against yours, listen to it. Maybe we learn something from it. In other words, come back to the fact that a child is not a small body, it has as much pure consciousness as we do, actually more visible. What happens is by doing that really the parents become more relaxed too. If we constantly say, “Don’t put that here … don’t do this …” it is annoying. Just think of your husband or your wife telling you that at all times, how much you lose your confidence and become frustrated.
Rebellious, How Do We Know what Behaviors Need To Be Corrected?
June 25, 2022