Parenting Chat- Qs&As With Sat-April 2025

Sat: Hi everyone.
Radha: Hi Sat. Good morning.
Thank You so much for joining us today.
Sat: My pleasure.
Radha: We really appreciate it. Parenting is such a hard job and it's the most important job and honestly I think I speak for everybody on this call when I say how grateful that we are for You and for this divine guidance that we get. We have eight questions today.
Sat: Wonderful.
Radha: Radha, Bahar, Kavi, Meera, Anitha, Janani, Vijay, Sudabeh, Farnaz, Saranya and Mansour.
Sat: I'm so glad that we have parents that are interested in being educated in their own understanding, instead of preaching to our kids. It always goes back to this because the parents are the source of ignorance or wisdom for their kids. They are the source of removing or adding to their kids. So the most important [thing] is for us to heal ourselves and then reach out for our kids. So go ahead.
Question 1: On our last call, You mentioned twice that we need to explain the quality of fear to our children. Can You please give us guidance on how to explain the quality of fear to them?
Sat: I'm going to explain it the way I explained it to My grandson not too long ago. We explain it when the child is receptive to it, not when he is actually experiencing a lot of fear. At that time, we just comfort the child. But in general, when it is not an intense fear that they're experiencing, [you can talk] particularly when you're on a car ride with your child, that's when the child doesn't have too many distractions. I used to always give the tools to My kids on the ride to some place, those days we didn't give our children an iPad or cell phone to entertain themselves in the back seat. I started by saying that fear is only a thought like a cloud and we are beyond the cloud, above the cloud as the sun. The sun does not get affected by the cloud that comes and goes. But if the sun accepts the cloud to be something that can affect his radiance and his light then the sun will be uncomfortable by that thought, only by that thought. So just Let it go. It's not real. Let it go. And if your child is in a devotional family that reviews God as a bhakti, then you can say the same thing and give him the remedy of Trust the promise - that if you sit in your Promise and don’t pay attention to that thought, it will vanish and never come back again. But again, it's very important for us to share it when we feel like we got the kids by ourselves and that there is an air of quality between us. But if they're frantically afraid, that's not the time to tell them; that’s the time to embrace them and give them comfort.
Question 2. Someone had a situation where their 10-year-old child lost something and she was nagging her child about this. The child looked at her and said, "Do you want me to be perfect?" She was not sure how to respond to her child at that moment. What is a good reaction in this situation?
Sat: Just learn your lesson and move on. That's it. You don't need to answer that. It was a truth that was spoken. Learn it and move on; I would. Expecting perfection from our kids when we're imperfect ourselves is a hypocrisy. It's just not a good thing to do. And if we want to get our children ready for society with self-confidence, just love them and set them free. That does not mean that you don't discipline your children. You should, definitely, when it is needed. But do’s and don'ts too much of it is just too much.
I remember reading, in the beginning of meeting Baba, about the first play Baba played when He was very young (beginning of his teenage [years]) and He used to love to play theaters and put on shows and things like this. And the first show He put on in the village was about the parents that said to their child not to do something when they did it themselves. I don't remember the details, but it really affected Me that they taught the child not to lie and then when someone knocked at the door they sent their child to the door and told them to say we're not home or something like that.
Just a few days ago I lied to My son because I didn't want him to be worried for Me. I had taken a fall and hurt My shoulder and he was busy with his son and I told him that I had a problem with the plumbing so I could come back to Reno and go to the emergency room and all of that and not bother him. And when he found out he said, "Mom, what You did was very, very wrong. You always said not to lie and here You didn't tell the truth.” Although My intention was to not make him worry because he really is very concerned, deeply concerned for Me. Still that was a huge lesson to Me even in those situations I need to come clean. So that's an example of what Baba was saying.
Question 3. When it comes to our children, would You say that having a good mood or attitude matters? Should we correct them if they have a bad mood or attitude, or should we just let it go?
Sat: No, you don't let it go. First you give the situation understanding instead of saying, “my child has a bad mood or is mean.” Again in a car ride, tell them that you see this tendency in them [and ask] where does it come from? Not when they're going through it but at a leisurely time. Again that's what I did with one of My grandchildren, exactly what I'm saying. And she explained beautifully and when she explained it, I said, "Oh my god I'm so happy. Thank you so much for explaining it to Me. Now, I totally understand you. And you're right.” What appeared to be mean turned out to be a beautiful reason. And I encouraged her after that to say it the way it is instead of showing a certain reaction so that then we can understand her better. And she was very happy and I was very happy about it. And that was a character that she had throughout her seven years on this earth. And we all wondered why all of a sudden she becomes that or she displayed this reaction. And it was [made] clear to Me in the car by asking, “What is it that makes you do this?” And it was for a very good reason. I mean now I am totally clear. So something like that. We just have to sincerely ask so they can explain it when they are calm.
Question 4. Is it okay in some instances to put pressure on our kids, for example, to get good grades?
Sat: You don't need to put pressure on them to get good grades. You can just work with them or make it fun or some approach that is not pressure. It doesn't have to be pressure by saying you have to get good grades and move on. Again, sit them down and find out when they are receptive. What is hindering them when they are so intelligent and so smart and so with it? What is it? And let them explain it to you and say, "I'd like to help you with that."
And honestly, as long as they pass the class it’s okay. Again, I'm going to go back to My own life. My first child was very studious, incredibly, [got] honors, everything. He finished his master’s degree in nine months when it should have taken him two and a half years and that university was begging him to stay and work for them. That was one person. My second one just barely made it through high school and then with the university and all of that and he is just as successful. So what I'm trying to say is as long as they're carefree, and that's what the second one was, and I didn't want to touch it with a 10-ft pole because being carefree is more important than having the best grade. But if you think that your child is failing or is just neglecting then again you can give them understanding and a way to help them.
Question 5: Our family moved this year and our 8-year-old daughter had to change schools. As a result, her grades have dropped. What is the best way for me to handle this?
Sat: Understanding. The grade is just a small sign of discomfort for her through this change. So give her a lot of encouragement and patience and support. With time everything will fall in the right place.
- Sudabeh provides more context in Farsi on her question. She and Sat go on to have a back and forth and this is how Sat summarized it afterwards: The question seems to be completely different than what she explained to Me. She was saying that her daughter is going to a school, and because she came from Ukraine they need special help with English classes and the school is crowded and doesn't spend enough money and they scream at the kids and all of that and what should I do? I said, “You have a very clear choice to either talk to the principal and the teacher and explain your problem or move on. For next year, go and really search for a good school.” And she says, "I have to move my home." And I said, “That's what parents will have to do when it is needed to adjust to their kids' life."
Question 6: My 10-year-old son and I recently saw a homeless man. My son said, "I will never be homeless because you and daddy will take care of me, right?" I answered that yes, that is true, but also the grace protects us all. He then asked why the grace didn't protect that man from being homeless and I did not know how to answer. Will You help me?
Sat: You need a lot of help. Why would you say that to your son? First of all, “you will never be…” how do you know? “And the grace will protect you.” You still don't know and “ I will be there for you” - you don't know that either. So there are no tools in there and there is no honesty. You're making him believe a world of change and uncertainty is something certain and you set him up for surprises in life. The answer for that would be, “If you can finish your studying and have a good clean life and not get into alcohol or drugs or anything and rely on the promise in your heart, you will be taken care of. It’s your part and the part of promise. And because of the tools, I am sure that you can maneuver through life much easier than other people. And as long as we're alive, we will support you, not so much financially, but whatever you choose to do.” And this way we are not giving them certainty; it’s effort and grace go hand in hand together.
And also in order to not look down on the homeless, I have found that the homeless people through My own experience with them throughout My life going downtown or doing things that they don't have a trace of greed or selfishness in them. It's just that their destiny was not as preferable as some of us in this lifetime and perhaps even explaining that the role they're playing looks like this.
But let us not give certainty and make our children believe in the world being unchangeable when it is always changing. Just the fact that our children are on a spiritual path and they have a secure house and they have to work for what they get is enough indication that they can handle life in a good way.
Question 7: This question is from a family who had to flee a war a few years ago and move to a new country. Their 8 year year old daughter now really struggles when one of her parents travels. She gets very worried and cries, and often thinks about things like losing them or a plane crash happening. Last time her dad traveled for a few days, they played a Trust Meditation for kids, and she calmed down after listening to it a couple of times. But the parents feel like this anxiety might be rooted in the experience of fleeing the war. How can they help reduce this anxiety in the future?
Sat: Sudabeh, I think you're doing it, Honey. You're doing it by presenting Trust Meditation and also talking to her about fear in a proper time. And repeating yourself. You see, anything that is repeated in the right time, again right time is the key, it becomes ingrained in us. All our problems, all our fear and all of that comes because things were repeated. Either we saw repeated scenes or we heard repeated thoughts from outside or inside. So we have to reverse that by Truth. So the more she listens to the different audios about fear and trust and the more you explain to her when it is necessary. The more you tell stories about how a child in the story conquered their fear. That's all you can do - keep this forceful truth feeding her. And that goes with all of us whether we are old or young or a child - any repetition of truth in our mind eliminates the false.
Question 8: My nine-year-old child recently learned about Santa Claus and the tooth family in our new culture. And she started following both of these traditions. She sometimes spends time writing to Santa to thank him for something or even asks Santa to make her father feel better if he is sick. But now some of the kids at school are telling her that Santa isn’t real. I didn't want to upset her. So when she asked me about it, I told her, "It depends on your belief,” but what is the best way for me to handle this?
Sat: Just leave it alone. I would say let the course take its time. I really believe you said it correctly. You said it depends on what you believe. She believes it's Santa Claus, that's her belief system. If they don't, they don't. There's nothing more to do and it's really not important because kids go through changes. Today it’s Santa Claus, tomorrow it’s something else, and eventually it becomes a boy that they write a letter to. So it's just a temporary thing. And you handled it beautifully.
Okay, these questions were very, very beautiful. But I have to tell you I will answer your question but I am not their mother. Your intuitive sense of motherhood and fatherhood is more effective than anything I can give you. So rely on that. Don't go by the book, don't go by the crowd. Don't go by the norm. Be creative with your child. I was in a very hard situation. I was trying to tell one member of My family that what society offers as help is actually a hindrance in that specific situation. So we have to be wise to not pass on something that never worked and then continue to pass it on. Just creativity and intuition is the key in our lives and our children's lives.
Another thing about fear I’d like to say is that if you want your children to be fearless, make sure you don't show any fear in front of them. Make sure you don't advise them from your own anxiety and fear. We show strength, we show fearlessness in front of them. Even if you feel it in your guts, still you don't pass it on. In other words, we keep our weakness to ourselves and help them stay strong.
If anybody would like to share or ask their own question or anything you would like we have time to do that.
Vijay: I just wanted to share something about some interactions I've been having with Liyana recently. She's kind of a sponge for picking up negative or scary things that might be going on in the news or hear something at school and she really feels some anxiety or fear with that. And I can see it in her body and she'll come and talk to me about it and kind of share something and want to see what my reaction is. And the reason she comes to me and not Radha is because Radha's always kind of been this rock of stability where she doesn't go with these thoughts and she's done that well for so long that Liyana thinks that she'll get some kind of reaction from me, which I've often given to her in the past. And more recently as I view these events differently and I don't have so much of a reaction to them, she comes to me and I'm able to explain them and she sees that I have no reaction either. And when she sees that, I can see that weight that's dropped and how comfortable she feels that neither of her parents are reacting to things like the rest of the world is. And I can't thank You enough for that. And to me it just exemplifies the fact that You said to start the call that preaching does no good because I did that for so long, but I was preaching something that she clearly could see that I wasn't practicing because I would have the same reaction that other people would have. But with my own expansion, thanks to You, I've made so much progress and I can see it in her. Thank You.
Sat: Yeah, I'm really glad you shared that. Yes. Explaining is very, very important why you are not affected by it. Just saying “drop it” is not going to do it. It is good, it's much better than preaching. But it is good to hear their side of the story and then non-reaction and also explain why you no longer are affected by this type of thing.
Again, a week ago we were in a very hard situation with My grandkids. They were confronted with a tragedy and they said, “Let's call Sat. We want to talk to Her.” It was a very, very sudden tragedy in a child's life and I listened to them while they were not happy and crying and I said, “First of all, time will heal. I understand this is tough. But just think that that person moved to another country. You would not see that person. But yet that person is alive. Just think that this is exactly what happened. The person did not die. It just moved on to a very happy and beautiful place.” And I could see the smile again at least for that moment on his face and then later on her face. So I was affected, no one could not be affected by what happened, but I swallowed that feeling of sadness and as I was talking to them, I was erasing it also from My own and this is why the grace helped them through this very nicely. So where the norm is, what they suggest to the parents in this type of situation, is to “Let the children feel it, feel it, they need to feel it.” Yes, okay, they feel it anyway. Even if you tell them to feel it or not, but then don't let them linger there. Pull them out. And that's what I did. And that's what you do with your daughter, both of you. I'm full of examples because the past few weeks have been challenging every part of the teaching.
Radha: I have a follow-up question because in some form or fashion, I feel like both of my kids have asked me this question. When I tell them, "The promise will take care of you,” I believe it, and I know they believe it, too. But inevitably, they will ask me, "Then why doesn't the promise take care of everyone?" What is the answer?
Sat: The answer is very clear. At the same time, it might need to be repeated in order for them to understand it. When this promise came to Me in one of My classes during My meditation, I was told in the first sentence that this promise is dormant until it is opened up and it has blossomed in your being. It is like every human being going through different transformation, they're going through different stages of life in different situations. This Promise, as I said, was revealed thousands of years ago and then again it’s being revealed [now]. I would say it is a secret and everyone has it but not too many people know about it.
I'm not saying that once we know about this source that our lives would be so much better than everybody else’s. No, I'm not saying that, although in most cases it’s like this to different degrees. What I'm saying is that when we surrender to this Promise by not taking thought, the higher mind gets shifted into gear. Our heart gives awareness to this empty new higher mind to lead this dream. So are we different than other people? In the picture we are. In reality we're not. And this is how the promise allows you to subside the ego, the “me” self, the false self. In that, the reality is the charioteer just like Krishna was in Bhagavad Gita. The doership fades away, the knowingness comes to the surface. Does everybody follow Me?
Radha: Yes, I do. I was just thinking about how well my kids would understand that.
Sat: Yeah, it's not that it makes us any different than any other person. It does not remove every obstacle in our life that we need to learn and wake up with. But what it does is allow us to let the intuitive center of our being guide our daytoday life.
Anitha Mohanraj: Thank You for all the love and the blessings we receive from You and the wisdom that we have received that is helping me and Kyra to navigate with our storms and learning our lessons. But there is one situation that has repeated twice and I don't know whether I handled it in a good manner.
I’ve had a high pitched voice since childhood. People tease me, did you swallow the mic? And when I speak to Kyra in a very stern voice, she feels that I'm yelling and screaming at her and she's getting upset and going and closing the door in one of the restrooms. And I used to go and try to make sure she's all right in the past but I remembered once I let her stay in the room and then she took her time to calm down and came back so I didn't even go this time because I wanted her to take the time to calm herself down and I didn't even give any explanation. But after 5-10 minutes, when I went, she wouldn’t open the door to come out and she put me in a position where I had to go to a meeting in a legislative building and it was getting delayed on my end and I became very anxious because of not being able to get ready.
So I separated the restrooms so now we can use two separate restrooms and I have grounded her by taking the iPad away for a week. But it repeated twice. The first time I let it go. I didn't even have a conversation when she came out of the room and I asked her to write a journal and I asked her to do the Trust Meditation but the second time it also concerned me a lot whether I was doing the right thing.
Sat: The mother's job is hard and when you do anything with love it’s not the wrong thing. Who am I to say if your reaction was right or wrong? I just want to ask you, did you find out exactly why she's doing that, besides that your voice is high?
Anitha Mohanraj: She is feeling that I'm yelling and screaming. So I'm taking a lesson. Maybe I have to reduce my volume while engaging in a conversation. Not in a rush and telling her. But even if I explain I'm not yelling, she's not accepting that fact.
Sat: She doesn't have to accept every fact you tell her. And yes, you bring the volume down because it bothers her nervous system and she has heard it so much that she's tired of it. So just change your approach. Change your volume. Just move with her. She's telling you that your repeated reaction, “I'm tired of it. What am I supposed to do? I’ll just leave the place.” Which is the best thing she can do. I would say just look at your own reaction more than wondering why she does that and move on.
Anitha Mohanraj: And then okay at the end when I try to hug her and then she's resisting to get the hug also even after everything is done.
Sat: Yes. Don't hug her. Don't hug her. If she takes one step forward, take one step forward. If she goes one step back, go back. Don't be so forceful.
Anitha Mohanraj: Got it. Thank You, Sat.
Kavi: Just going back to that conversation that we were having before about the thing You were dealing with that tragedy and how to work with Your kids. It sparked a second question in me. Since that situation, I can see the beginnings of just a little bit of fear in myself thinking is this safe? Are we being careful? Something I didn't have before that. And I just wanted to know what Your reaction is to that and what You would say to me knowing that that is something that is I just see it.
Sat: Are you concerned for your child because of what happened? Right. Okay.
Kavi: Yeah. Something is shaken in me. I'm sorry to say.
Sat: Yeah. You were sensitive to this tragedy. You have two choices. One is to be sensitive and still the Truth will save you because it will come to your rescue when you're tired of being sensitive and fearful because you've been on this path long enough, or realize that what will happen will happen and what won't, won’t and sit under Trust and allow the awareness to lead your life as it has. In other words, allow yourself to feel that but don't go with it. Okay, you're telling me this has come up but it's come up to the thinker, right? The thinker was shaken and then how many times in your life has this thinker been shaken?
Kavi: Yes. A lot.
Sat: And then how many times has the shake become the truth (in other words, the worry actually manifested itself)? Almost never. So I would say to see it as what it is and let it be where it’s at, but you don't have to say I am now feeling this. The feeling is there and let it be and just move on with an eye on the Promise by not taking thought until this feeling in the thinker vanishes. And I'm glad you are honest with yourself. The only problem is that you identify with this feeling instead of saying this feeling is there in me.
Kavi: Thank You very much. I very much appreciate it.
Sat: And another thing that I used to do in My youth when I had little kids, when I had any type of fear I would do a lot of seva. Maybe you can make sandwiches and take it downtown.
Sudabeh and Sat discuss something in Farsi, which Radha translates: Sudabeh says that recently her daughter learned from a friend who's Christian about heaven and hell. She came home and told Sudabeh that she had heard if you do this you go to heaven, if you do that you go to hell and the daughter asked Sudabeh, “So what happens you die and you go up to the sky and you sit there and you look down?” Sudabeh said, “These are very good questions, they're questions that you have to ask yourself and come to the answer” as Sat says. She told her the story of how when Sat was young, She was looking up at the sky and feeling fear and questioning it. She also told her that for herself with the teachings on one level, she can start to see that the body is really just like clothing and dying is just changing those clothes and on another level, she told her that death doesn't even really exist. But she said this very reluctantly almost because she doesn’t know how to say it and doesn’t know if she’s experienced it.

Sat replied that Sudabeh handled this very well and this question is thoroughly answered in the book “I Am the Child.” Sudabeh said she’s asked for a copy because she’d like to give it to Ailin and let her read these pieces herself.
Sat: I'd like to finish with a story of My childhood now that you guys mentioned it, for those of you that have not heard it, [though] most of you have. How important it is to tell the child if you don't know the answer that you will come back to them later and really do your research where your answer would be comforting and true rather than just a passing concept. So the importance of it is in this story I'm going to tell you.
I was 7 years old. My mom used to pick Me up from school and our house at that time was close to My school so we would sometimes go straight home and sometimes we would go shopping in the area and go back home around sunset. On that day, the sky was very clear and after shopping on the way back home, the color of the sky was very, very red. It was like blood and I had never noticed it like this before in My life and I got scared.
No one told Me about the end of the world but My little head said that this could be the end of the world and all the people could die because of what was happening to the sky. So I was very scared and I said to My mom, “Who did this to the sky?” And My mom said, “God did.” And I said, “Where did God come from?” And My mom said, very leisurely as we were looking around, “Don't think this way. You're too little. It can make you crazy.” And so I went to My grandmother and she was a religious person and she said the same thing.
So one day I was sitting in My bedroom and I asked Myself this question. Where did God come from? If He is capable of making such a scary sky, where did he come from? Who made God? And as soon as I said “who made God” in My thought, I went out, the body did not exist anymore. I was not that child anymore. There was no thinker, no mind, no body. And it was just a space that had no end. It was nothingness. It was just tranquility, silence and a thought entered My mind that “Oh My God, I died” and it scared Me.
Now I found out later that this experience that I had was the highest realization that one could have but it scared Me so bad because of what My grandmother and My mom said that okay I was proven that this is scary and I pulled Myself into My body and I became an atheist until I was 18 years old. I wouldn't talk about God, I wouldn't want to hear about Him. I did not believe any of that and instead I replaced it with frustration and confusion until I was 18 when I went down to My knee praying for help and then everything opened up to Me. The moral of the story is here I had the highest experience one could have and yet because of the answer they gave it put a concept in My mind that shot Me into the body and left Me empty for 9 years or 11 years. So it's best to say “I don't know and let me come back to you,”[rather] than to just throw something out there to a child.
Namaste to all of you. Have a wonderful weekend.


Parenting Chat
April 05, 2025