Anxiety About Future

Question: How do we help our child with anxiety about something that will happen in the future (but the far away future)? Two parents shared an example of this. One person shared a story about her child flying home from a long trip and expressing that she did not want to go to school and Luca's story about a future vaccine where he was nervous to get it. In both cases, the event causing them stress wasn’t going to happen immediately. Both parents wanted to know if You have a wisdom that we can give them to help?

Sat: Who wants to go to school? I’m serious. Let them express it - they go to school anyway. I mean school is something that rarely anybody embraces with joy. As far as vaccination goes, I talked to Luca. When the fear is really strong the kids don't even hear you. So I would let him express his dilemma because we have reminded him of Trust. And finally when you are taking him to get his vaccination then just remind him or give him a recording of the Trust Meditation. And also as a parent Myself, I don’t remember a time when I would tell the kids we are going to get a vaccination thinking they are going to get ready for it if we give them enough time. I think they think about it more and make it bigger than it is. I mean you get up one morning and say, “You know we’re going to get the vaccination,” and at least if he has a problem it’s for a few minutes, it’s not for days to come.

And fear is something that every human being has to find their own way to deal with and thank God that our children have so many tools and parents that can guide them out of it. But remember, not only are the children divine like ourselves, but they also have personalities and we can’t be shocked if they say, “I’m afraid of death” or “I don’t want to go to school.” And My answer to the person who doesn’t want to go to school is, “I don’t want to go to school either but that’s something we have to do - don't think about it.” And then work with them in the morning when they don’t want to go rather than having this long period of anxiety about it. Just distraction.

I remember with My grandchildren, particularly one, he used to throw a tantrum and just become devastated for something so stupid, and the mother would sit down and reason [with him] and then the voice would get even worse and the cry louder. I looked at the mother and I said, “Just distract him!” And she said, “How?” And I said, “Watch Me.” And I started talking about something that didn't make sense but it took his attention because they don’t get stuck like grownups on something that is not good - it’s temporary. So sometimes we just have to distract them to something else. And he totally forgot it. Rather than giving them a philosophy of life. Most cases really, when the children cry for school just ignore what they are saying and go on on something they enjoy hearing. In other words, less talk, more effective.


Parenting Chat
November 05, 2022